Heilung
by vampireskokoro
Summary: When you're dying, why would you find something to live for? When you're dying and you do find that something, what do you do? Is Edward the cure Alfons needs?
1. Medicine

"We can't afford that medicine." Alfons murmured, as he pulled on his jacket, ready to leave the doctor's office. The diagnosis had not been good. There was nothing the doctor could do to get rid of the cough; all he could do was give advice Alfons wouldn't—couldn't—follow.  
"What did he say?" Edward asked.  
Alfons shrugged at his roommate. "He told me to stay away from the rockets for a while." He chuckled, giving off a mask of nonchalance.  
"What about medicine?" Edward's face was guardedly worried. "I heard you muttering about it."  
"Doc just recommended something," Alfons lied, not looking at the older blond. "I don't need it—(another lie)—It's expensive anyway." A sudden cough helped cover the lie

.:.

Edward was downcast as they made thei way back to their apartment. Alfons found the silence between them awkward, probably because of the lie he had told his friend. He half wished Edward had gone to work at the university instead of tagging along. But anti-social Ed had a strange habit of needing to walk with somebody. Even if nothing was said, Edward seemed to prefer a companion to walking alone. Alfons hadn't minded earlier, and he didn't object now. Rather an awkward silence to Ed wandering around town with some girl—  
Where the hell had that thought come from? Alfons wondered. He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. He was just tired, that had to be the source of it. Besides, Edward rarely showed interest in other people. Just him, which was fine by Alfons because Edward didn't belong with anyone else.  
What. The. Fuck? Why was he thinking like this? Edward could be with anyone he wanted. What did he care?  
But I want him, a voice in the back of his head said.  
No I don't, no I don't, no I don't! He argued. No fucking way. That is sick and wrong!  
But Edward's who I want, the voice insisted.  
He's not! No way. I'm not gay. I want a girl; a woman, not the guy I share an apartment with!  
"Hey, Alfons," Edward interrupted the inner battle (which was good as Alfons was about to beat his own head). "You go on ahead. I'm gonna go check something." With that, he turned around and left.  
Alfons sighed. He's probably going to see if that girl from the sweet shop is available, he thought. To his horror, this assumption made him feel… sick? No, disappointed and forlorn.  
If he hadn't been in public, Alfons would have hit his head against a wall.

.:.

Once inside the privacy of his own room, he proceeded to do so.  
"I—" thunk! "Am—" thunk! "Not—" thunk! "Gay!" He repeated it aloud, over and over. "I don't like Edward. I like women. Not men and definitely not Edward." To distract his mind, he began to list the traits of the women he usually dreamed about.  
"Light brown hair, like honey. No, lighter, like sunshine. Average height. Maybe a few inches shorter. Eyes… bright, like fire, but gold and—" He stopped. The "woman" that he pictured was vastly different from usual. And it was… Disgusted, Alfons hit his head especially hard against the wall.  
It wasn't a good idea. It hurt—though it did get rid of the sudden and embarrassing picture of Edward from his mind—and made him dizzy. The action also triggered a coughing attack (or maybe he was just long over due for one).  
The coughing hurt, tearing at his throat. It also brought a strange taste to his mouth.  
"Stay away from those rockets of yours, Mr. Heidrich," the doctor had told him. "You've inhaled fumes that can be damaging after too long. Take a break and you may get better."  
Alfons had caught the _may_ in the doctor's warning. It was already too late for anything to make a difference. He was too young for things to end, too ambitious to let life go with out making his mark on the world. The coughing was going to kill him; might as well do what he could before then.  
Alfons grimaced as the coughing stopped. The taste left behind was foreign, disgusting… and unnervingly familiar. He went to the kitchen to drown the taste out with whatever they had. He found half a bottle of scotch. It was Edward's but it had been hiding in the cabinet for a few months now. Alfons looked at the liquid inside, inwardly debating whether or not to drink it. He had never tried alcohol before but his eighteenth birthday was in a few days… wouldn't hurt to try it now. Alfons poured a small glass and downed the few mouthfuls.  
It burned his throat as badly as coughing did. Alfons choked and began coughing again.  
"Alfons?"  
Shceisse, he thought as Edward came into the kitchen. Alfons was bent over, still coughing.  
"Alfons, you idiot." Edward sounded angry, making Alfons cringe. "It's bad enough your sick with out testing how well you hold your alcohol."  
"Sorry, Ed," Alfons gasped as he was forced to sit in a nearby chair. Edward was glaring at him. "I got thirsty, that's all. Where have you been?" Not the subtlest change of subject but it worked. Edward shrugged and threw a paper bag at him.  
"I went back to get that medicine for you," was the simple reply. "Don't take it with anything alcoholic thought." Edward's face was suddenly a grin. Alfons blushed in embarrassment and hurried back to his room.  
He stared down at the bag in his hands. The medicine, which had been expensive before the depression Gremany was going through, was now a heck of a lot more than they could afford on their measly salary from the university. Alfons wondered what Edward meant by this.  
Just a friend helping a friend, Alfons told himself, already shooting down the hopes that voice in his head had started to bring up. Edward's just being nice, like always. He doesn't care about you like that.  
He might, the voice said.  
He doesn't. Edward's not like that. He'll find some pretty girl because that's what guys are supposed to do, fall for girls, not other guys.  
Can't help who you fall for, the voice muttered.  
Exactly. Edward's too straight for that. He's straight, and likes girls. And girls like him because he's nice and strong and handsome and perfect and… dear God… I'm gay.

* * *

A/N: Hello peoples! Well, since you're reading this, you must like HeixEd! I like you for that and because you took the time to read this (And if you're reading this and you don't like HeixEd, I still like you, but you really need to learn to like them together ). Yes, I know it's short, I have issues making my beginning chapters longer ; and whether or not the other chapters will be longer is beyond me (they prolly will be though XD). This series is called Heilung because Heilung is German for cure (and I get a huge kick out of it: /Hei/-/lung, get it?) Anyway, this is going to be at least (at the moment anyway) 17 or so chapters. I'm shooting for twenty though.  
Stay tuned for more!!


	2. Secretaries

Alfons was watching Edward. Again. It was a habit that had started when he first met Edward. And now that he had accepted (grudgingly) the fact that he had fallen for the blond, it was a habit he now acknowledged (happily). Edward was remarkably fascinating. Alfons would watch him over the edge of a book he was "reading" while his roommate was reading as well. Edward had a funny habit of chewing the end of his ponytail while he read; his gold eyes flicked across the pages of a book so fast, Alfons often doubted Edward was actually reading (like he was one to talk). Alfons watched him when they ate (or rather, when Edward stuffed his face with food and Alfons just looked on with slight disgust). And he watched Edward when he flirted with the secretaries at the university they worked at, as he was now.  
Watching Edward flirt was… mesmerizing. Alfons was always hard put to keep his eyes on his paperwork when the short blond decided to use his attractiveness against the secretaries of the university. It sent chills down his spine to think of the full effect of Edward turned on himself; as it was, Alfons was distracted when Edward simply walked into the room.  
Edward's latest victim was Dr. Oberth's secretary, Sciezka. The mousy girl seemed unsure how to react to Edward, who was leaning over her desk. Alfons felt sympathy for her; he knew he'd feel just as lost.  
He kept looking up when Edward spoke, watching Edward's lips move, wishing he were closer, just to hear that smooth voice. Alfons wished the prosthetic hand were that close to his own. Why couldn't Edward lean over towards him?  
Alfons looked down as the girl laughed. He felt his face getting hot with embarrassment, as if he had been caught watching them. And that would become a good possibility if he continued looking instead of finishing his report. He read over the last few lines he had written to recollect his thoughts. He read the same sentence four times before his eyes wandered back to Edward. He was surprised (and slightly disappointed) to see his target had disappeared, leaving behind a dazed Sciezka, who was blushing fiercely and fumbling to straighten a stack of papers on her desk.  
"See you later, Alfons."  
Alfons nearly jumped out of his seat as Edward's voice sounded behind him. Whirling around, he saw his roommate pulling on his brown coat.  
"Wait, where are you going?" Alfons asked as Edward headed for the door.  
"Back to the apartment," Edward said. "I'm not feeling so great, so Sciezka said I should go home." Edward sent a wink in the secretary's direction. Out of the corner of his eye, Alfons saw a panicked expression cross Sciezka's face.  
"But what about our meeting with Dr. Oberth?" Alfons protested.  
"Uh, yeah… well, have fun with that." And with that, he left. Alfons shot Sciezka an annoyed look, and then looked to the clock on the wall behind her. Great. Not only had his partner bailed on him, he now only had half an hour to finish his report and get ready for his meeting. Cursing under his breath, Alfons hurried to get it done.

Damn him, damn him, damn him, Alfons thought irritably as he sat outside Dr. Oberth's office. Alfons was not ready, had not finished his report, and was on the verge of tracking Edward down and dragging him back, even if that meant they were late. He was trying his hardest to focus on the last few pages of his report that he had to finish up. Edward was always much calmer than Alfons in situations like these. It helped Alfons to calm down when he saw how relaxed his partner was. Edward was also better at making things up as he went along. Alfons had been depending on Edward to help out; so why had he left?  
_Because he's lazy and slacks off whenever he can but since he's so smart, he can make up for it at the last minute, _Alfons thought. _…Why do I like him?_  
It was a question he had asked himself constantly these past few days. What was it about Edward that he was attracted to? When Edward wasn't absorbed in research or being a complete pessimist… he was asleep. Yes, there were those few enraged outburst whenever someone implied that he was short but otherwise, Edward acted as if the world didn't exist. He was sometimes depressing to be around, always brooding over something. He was incredibly smart, picking up German almost instantly (because Alfons knew Edward sure as heck wasn't from Germany) and thinking up new designs for the rockets and fuels. And Edward could be annoying too. Like right now, not being there when Alfons needed him.  
"God, I need to help with people," Alfons muttered to himself.  
"Having trouble with your girlfriend, Alfons?"  
Alfons looked up to see Dr. Oberth standing in front of him, a smile on his face. Alfons stood up reflexively, trying to be polite. The papers in his lap fell to the floor, scattering around their feet.  
"Oh, sorry, Dr. Oberth," Alfons apologized, hastily trying to reorganize his report.  
"Just as clumsy as ever, eh?" Oberth knelt down to help. "You know, there are some nice girls in my classes. I can arrange something for you if you're interested in one of them." He handed the papers to Alfons whose face was beginning to redden.  
"Er, no, it's nothing like that," Alfons said nervously. He took his papers from Oberth and gave an involuntary cough. "You don't need to do that."  
"It would be no trouble, my boy," Oberth said, helping Alfons up. He gave the younger man a friendly thump on the back. Alfons began coughing harshly. "Oh, sorry, Alfons. Is your cold not getting better?"  
"It's fine," Alfons lied.  
"And where's our young friend Mr. Elric? Has he decided to skip out on us?" Oberth looked around as if expecting Edward to pop up around the corner.  
"No sir," Alfons said. "Ed said he wasn't feeling good so your secretary let him go home."  
"Ah, Miss Sciezka would be the kind sort to do that." Oberth shook his head. "Oh well, Edward's loss then. Well, come on in, and we'll get this meeting started."  
Alfons followed Dr. Oberth into the spacious office, his palms sweating and his breath rasping (though this was more from the bout of coughing he had just done than from anxiety). He placed his stack of papers on the table in front of the only empty seat. Familiar faces occupied the chairs. They were old friends of his from two years ago, the old rocketry crew he had worked with, Law, Dorochette, and the others. Alfons smiled at his old friends.  
"Good to see you again, Alfons," Law said, shaking his hand as he sat down beside him.  
"Yeah, it's been too long," Dorochette said with a grin.  
"What are you guys doing here?" Alofns asked. "What happened to Marta?" He had noticed the absence of the shorthaired woman that was both a secretary and a partial rocket engineer.  
"Ah yes, Marta," Dr. Oberth said, taking Alfons' report and leafing through the pages. "She was recently offered a job with another university to work on rockets. The pay was better, so she accepted. What a brilliant woman."  
"Nice legs, too," Dorochette added slyly. Dr. Oberth shot him a look over the papers.  
"We are now short a member for our rocketry crew," Law continued.  
"So you came to ask Dr. Oberth for help?" Alfons asked.  
"Nope," Dorochette said. "We're here to hire you."  
"Well, maybe Edward and I could… help…" Alfons cut off as he realized what had just been said. "You want to what?"  
"We want to give you a job." Dorochette pronounced each word as if Alfons were a child. It was a joke on the older man's part but Alfons found his mind (which had stopped working from shock) could process the words better that way.  
"You're not serious," Alfons managed to stammer.  
"No, we only came all the way from Berlin just to pull your leg," Dorochette said. "Of course we're serious. We came _all the way from Berlin_ just to hire you."  
"That and you have a new sponsor and test facility," Oberth interjected, his attention mostly on Alfons's report.  
"So what do you say, Alfons?" Dorochette asked. Alfons blinked, unsure as to what to say.  
"I-I don't know," He said. _Hell yes! _A voice inside him said. His more modest side was still overwhelmed with the fact that his old friends had come to him for help. "I guess… yeah, sure. I'll do it! Oh, wait… Dr. Oberth don't you still need—"  
"I'm sure Edward will be more than capable of covering your absence," Dr. Oberth said. "And you can always come back in your spare time to help. Now, does Edward's new fuel really work better than our old ones?"  
"Well, yes. It works better with the propulsion system we were working on and—"

Alfons opened the door to the apartment a few hours later. In his hand he still held the slip of paper Dorochette had given him that had the address he was to show up at for his new job in three days time. His birthday, ironically enough. His mind was still a bit dazed.  
"You're home late," Edward said as Alfons more or less stumbled into the living room. "What have you been up to?"  
"Dorochette and Law were at the university today," Alfons said, slumping down on the six inches of couch that Edward was not occupying.  
"Going back to actually get their diplomas, eh?" Edward joked, looking back at the book in his hands.  
"They offered me a job." Alfons looked at Edward, trying to register his roommate's expression.  
"What are they gonna have you do?" Edward asked. He didn't seemed surprised, maybe a little bit bored.  
"I'm going to help them build rockets. I'm not good at anything else," Alfons said.  
"So you're leaving me alone with a bunch of paperwork and a crazy professor of an employer?" Edward looked up, a teasing look in his eye. A teasing look that Alofns didn't see.  
"Sorry, Ed," Alfons apologized hastily. "I can help you out when I have the time. It was just a great job and they—"  
"Geez, calm down, Alfons," Edward said. "I was joking. I do that every now and then. I'm glad you got the job."  
"I'm surprised they didn't offer it to you."  
Edward looked up from his book, surprise on his face now. "What do you mean?"  
"You're better at building rockets than I am," Alfons pointed out. "You came up with that new fuel."  
"And _you_ built the rest of the damn thing." Edward looked slightly annoyed now. "Honestly, all I did was make up something that fueled it with out it blowing up."  
"I still think—"  
"Well, they did offer me the job," Edward interrupted. He seemed really annoyed now. "But I think you deserve it more than I do. So just take the chances life gives you and be happy with them." Edward's glare bore into Alfons's soul, making him shift uncomfortably and eye the socked feet he sat next to, thinking about how much a prosthetic foot in the side would hurt. "What's for dinner?"

Alfons always woke up before Edward did. Even if the alarm wasn't set, Alfons's internal clock seemed to know when Edward would wake up and thus roused him half an hour before. It was weird and Alfons often found it annoying, but not lately. It gave him enough time to bathe, get dressed, and then he usually had about ten minutes or so to stand in the doorway of Edward's bedroom and just… stare. Alfons felt sort of like a pervert doing so, but when Edward asleep was his favorite time to watch him. Edward always slept with his prosthetic limbs off, and last night had had simply thrown them to the floor instead of placing them on the desk like he usually did. His golden hair was in disarray having come out of its usually confining ponytail and the blanket was only covering his waist and what was left of his left leg. Alfons's eyes wandered over Edward's bare chest (the short— _smaller_ blond only ever slept in his boxers), taking in every plane, shadow, and crease of the toned skin. Edward was very attractive.  
Edward grunted and shifted over to his side. Alfons took this as a warning to get the hell out before Ed woke up and saw him. With one last look, Alfons hurried to the kitchen to get a quick breakfast started.

"You're not going to pretend to be sick again are you?" Alfons asked Edward as they walked through the front doors of the university. "It was annoying having to cover for you with Dr. Oberth."  
"It got you a job, so why are you complaining?" Edward grumbled, yawning. "I might have to do it again; I got a new idea for the rockets and I stayed up most of the night trying to make sense of it. Why the damn Gate couldn't give me ideas about _this_ world…" The last part was muttered unintelligibly under his breath, so Alfons missed it and assumed Edward was simply cursing late night epiphanies and early mornings.  
"I'm amazed you ever get any work done," Alfons said, narrowly avoiding a group of students buried under stacks of textbooks. "You keep leaving work like that. And Sciezka is either going to catch on or just ask you to marry her soon."  
"You want to see if I can get you out of work too?" Edward offered. Alfons looked down at him, a skeptical look on his face. "Bet I could do it."  
"I don't doubt you could…" Alfons pondered the offer. He didn't often wish to skip out on work but yesterday had been big news for him and he wanted to get down his own ideas for new rockets, something he couldn't do when he was constantly being called off to help Dr. Oberth.  
"Come on, Alfons." Edward elbowed him in the side. "You could use a day off. I'll just go up to Sciezka and—" Edward stopped walking as they entered the large main office. Alfons watched as Edward's eyes grew big with surprise, then fear. His face turned pale and he turned around to walk back out the door. "On second thought, let's just not even bother telling anyone we're here."  
"Why?" Alfons looked around the room. Everything looked fine to him. All the desks were the same, Dr. Oberth hadn't strung up any stupid decorations for some obscure holiday and Sciezka… was missing. At her desk instead was a young woman who had long blond hair pinned up except for long bangs that framed her face. "Oh, wonder where Sciezka is… Well, go on, Ed. I thought you said you get us off work."  
Edward gave him a desperate look, glanced at the blond, and then looked back at the door. "Uh, I don't know, I think I've seen her around before and she doesn't seem to like me too much…"  
"Don't think you can do it?" Alfons challenged. Where the heck was this confidence coming from? He knew Edward better than to try to get him to do something he didn't want to do. But Alfons did have a good idea he wanted to write down before he lost it… And Edward was already giving him a see-if-I-don't sort of look and stomping over to the woman.  
His progress slowed as he came up to the desk. He stopped two steps away and took a deep breath. "Hey there, sweetheart."  
The woman looked up and Alfons suddenly felt sorry for Edward, who was taking the full force of the icy blue eyes. "Can I help you sir?" she asked.  
"Um." Edward fumbled for a bit and the cleared his throat, adding a seductive sort of purr to his voice. "I'm Edward Elric. And you are?"  
"Wendy Rockbell," the woman said curtly. "I'm taking over for Miss Sciezka, as she has found a new job. Mr. Elric, you said?"  
"Sure did, gorgeous." Edward bravely stepped forward and leaned on the desk. "I was just feeling a little under the weather and was wondering if—"  
"Dr. Oberth warned me about you so don't think you can flirt your way out of work again." Wendy glared at him and then at Alfons as if she knew he was in on this. "You will do your job and if you are too sick to work, then stay home to begin with."  
"But, I'm just so— OUCH!"  
Alfons did his best not to laugh as Wendy hit Edward in the head with a stapler.  
"I would greatly appreciate it if you would leave me alone unless you need assitance," Wendy said sternly over Edward's muttered swearing as he held his hands to the injured part of his skull. "And please do not swear in front of me or I will have no choice but to hit you again." Edward immediately shut up and stamped off to his desk, glaring at Alfons.  
"You too, Mr…?" Wendy lifted the stapler and looked at Alfons.  
"Alfons Heidrich, ma'am." Alofns almost ran to his desk and sat down, sorting through the papers already piled on his desk. He glanced up to make sure Wendy had the stapler safely back on her desk. He shot Edward an apologetic look but the blond had his back turned to him.  
Maybe that was the Edward Alfons had fallen for. The Edward that tried to help out and took the blows as they came. _Just take the chances life gives you and be happy with them. _ Edward's words echoed in his mind. Edward could be encouraging when the moment really needed it and he did try his hardest to help Alfons. Edward had pretty much saved his life… Falling in love with that didn't seem so bad.  
A wad of paper was volleyed onto his desk from Edward's direction. Alfons opened it up and read the scribbled message on the wrinkled paper.

_You are so dead when we get back to the apartment. _

Alfons grinned. Yes, not so bad at all.

* * *

A/N: Well, peoples, got part dos up! Yes, yes, finally... part three is underway (along with many other projects) so expect that soon enough... let's see... oh, I'll warn you not that Heilung will now be M-RATED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER AND SEVERAL CHAPTERS AFTER! (yes, improper use of caps... the button got stuck...) well, see ya around!


	3. Rain

A/N: Sooooo sorry, everyone. I know, I fail at the updating. I'm trying to get better (not really, too much fail to even try that). But thank you sooo much, St. Astryr of the Uncool, mrawgirl09, chaos key, Misuki Anime Miko, and animefreak892cool4u for reviewing. I appreciate your input and encouragement to get my ass in gear. And of course, my lovely, "sweet" beta. Please leave your boots at home next time you want to "encourage" me to write.

And… could it be? Yes? Yes! My first attempt at pr0nz! So yeah, the rating goes waaay up for this… (and my maturity level drops for writing the word pr0nz with a smile on my face)

.:.

The rain fell against the glass window, tapping out a steady beat through the night. The wind rustled through the autumn dyed leaves, shaking loose a few and adding a soothing accent to the soft lullaby of the rain. Alfons listened to the natural music, snuggling deeper into his bed. He was wrapped under several blankets, warm and half asleep. Another set of equations wound through his mind but the formulas flowed smoothly for once, allowing him to drift along without any annoying snags keeping him awake. It was one of the first nights he had slept this easily in a while as he stressed over completing the rockets. So of course, something was going to interrupt this peace.

"Move over, Alfons."

He nearly jumped out of his skin as he was shoved none-too-gently against the wall by a prosthetic hand.

"Edward, what the heck?!" Alfons was fully awake as he watched Edward crawl into his bed. "What are you doing in my bed?!"

"Will you calm down?" Edward grumbled as Alfons tried to push him away. "I need a place to sleep."

"Use your own bed!" Alfons protested. He was almost shoved through the wall as Edward pushed him back.

"I can't, there's a leak above my bed and I don't see this storm ending anytime soon," Edward explained. "Just let me sleep here tonight."

"No, go sleep on the couch," Alfons insisted. He gave up trying to push Edward out of the bed after receiving a kick in the shin from Edward's prosthetic leg.

"We have a couch?" Edward asked sarcastically. "You have all your rocketry crap piled up on it."

"Then try the floor," Alfons suggested, elbowing Edward one more time in the hopes of pushing him off the bed. It didn't work and he received a glare in return.

"Come on, Alfons," Edward said. "It'll just be for tonight. I'll tell Gracia about the leak in the morning."

"I-"

"Great, thanks, Alfons." Edward turned onto his side, pulling the blankets over his shoulder.

"Ed!" Alfons exclaimed, exasperated. Edward made no response. "Fine," Alfons mumbled in defeat. He grabbed at the blankets and tried to pull them over his own shoulder but Edward refused to give up an inch. He also found that his pillow had been taken as well. He could have easily shared the blankets and pillow with Edward if he got closer to the man, but he wasn't exactly willing to be _that_ close to Edward. As it was, Alfons was completely squashed against the wall trying his best to stay as far away from his new bed-mate as his small bed would allow.

He had imagined Edward in his bed several times before (he was _male_ after all) but the circumstances of his wonderings were very different from the current. In his fantasies, they were both bare, panting, sweating as—

_Woah, don't even _start_ thinking about that,_ Alfons told himself as he felt a twinge between his legs. If he kept thinking like that, he'd no doubt be aroused (not to mention his slot in hell would slip deeper into the fires). He'd have no way to… uh, alleviate the feeling if he got carried away, not with Edward right next to him. It would be awkward trying to crawl over him to get to the bathroom and it would most likely wake up the older blond.

Alfons closed his eyes and tried to return to the blissful state he had been in a few minutes ago. He knew getting to sleep would be much more difficult now.

.:.

Edward proved to be a blanket hog. Alfons had tried several times to pull a blanket over during the night but Edward just pulled the blankets around him tighter. Alfons was cold but he knew it probably wasn't as cold as he felt; a terminal illness and a complete lack of body fat would do that to a person. He hated being cold but tonight he appreciated the fact that it was keeping him awake.

As Alfons had started to fall asleep, his eyes had honed in on Edward. The golden hair was loosely tied and splayed out between them, tickling the edges of Alfons' arm. His gaze followed the outline of Edward's body, wishing the blanket that was covering him would disappear (along with the loose cotton shirt Edward had put on). As Alfons began to drift off, his mind began to wander along a rather… _erotic_ line of thought.

His eyes snapped open as he felt Edward's leg brush against his cock. He bit back a moan as a shiver ran the length of his body. _Stop, stop, stop! _he thought angrily at his arousal. This was not good. He had unconsciously gotten closer to Edward, his face almost pressed into the golden hair at the nape of his flatmate's neck. Alfons scooted backwards again, wincing as his legs rubbed against the bulge between them. He was hard from thinking about Edward and he was trapped in his own bed. Alfons nearly panicked as Edward rolled over onto his other side, facing him and throwing his prosthetic arm onto Alfons' waist.

The younger blond held his breath, fidgeting nervously as Edward started snoring.

Alfons bit his lip, his pale blue eyes flickering around for a way to get out of this without waking Edward up. His cock was protesting at the lack of attention it was receiving and having Edward this close was only helping to turn him on. Alfons whimpered as the too close Edward sighed, "Alphonse".

The ache was getting to be too much for him. Alfons steeled himself with a deep breath… before shoving Edward off of him and scrambling off the bed, racing out of the room and into the bathroom. He nearly slammed the door behind him and heaved a sigh of relief as he slid his hand down the front of his pants. He began rubbing his length, leaning against the door as he slid his flannel pants and cotton boxers down his waist. He shivered as the cold air met his bare skin but soon, his hands were keeping him warm.

He rubbed his palm up and down his cock, thumbing over the head in his attempt to hurry up and get this over with. He didn't masturbate often and when he did, it usually was rushed, as he feared Edward walking in on him. He hurriedly locked the door, terrified Edward was at any moment going to barge in demanding why he had been half flung off the bed. His pumping quickened as he imagined having to explain this to his flatmate. Those golden eyes glaring at him with disgust, the repulsed swears that would no doubt fly from his lips… those lovely, pink lips that he so longed to claim with his own.

Alfons let out a soft moan as the angry image of Edward morphed into the visions he had had while trying to get to sleep. Edward's scarred skin glistening with sweat beneath him, those golden eyes looking up at him, half-lidded with lust, his face flushed. Alfons' strokes slowed slightly as he imagined thrusting into Edward, or being thrust into himself. It didn't take long at all for him to reach the edge. He nearly bit through his lip to hold back his shout as he came harder than he remembered coming in a very long time.

.:.

Alfons woke the next morning to find that sleeping in a small bathtub was fun when you were ten-years-old and small enough to fit but not so much when you were almost nineteen and almost too tall for your own bed. He groaned, his spine popping painfully as he uncurled from his cramped position. His neck and legs were sore from being curled close to his body for the few hours left of the night. It would have been too embarrassing to try to crawl back into the bed with Edward, not to mention the fact that he probably would have gotten hard again. So Alfons had decided to curl up in the bathtub and hope Edward didn't guess why.

Alfons had sent several hundred prayers to God upon discovering that his roommate slept like a log. When Edward hadn't come pounding on the door like Alfons feared, he had gone to see what the older man was doing instead of confronting him. Alfons had nearly cried with relief when he saw Edward, half falling off the bed, still asleep and oblivious to the sinful actions that had taken place in the room down the hall.

But Edward was up now, and the slamming of a prosthetic fist on the wood door made Alfons freeze, debating whether or not to jump back into the tub and try hiding. "Yo, Alfons, you in there?"

"Y-yeah," Alfons said, his voice coming out higher than he intended.

"Well hurry up and get out of there!" Ed shouted and Alfons flinched. "I really need to pee!"

Alfons' knees nearly gave out beneath him in relief. Edward had no idea. He opened the door cautiously and was quickly shoved out of the room as Edward flew past and slammed the door in his face.

.:.

When Edward got home from the university, Alfons was nearly ready to kill himself. He had been home all day, having already moved his supplies and plans for the rockets into their small living room. He didn't know what to do with himself, all alone, and there was absolutely _no_ chance of him wanting to repeat what had happened last night just to give himself something to do. He managed a few jerky naps, drifting in between sleep and consciousness as he tried to read. After peeling his face from the pages a fifth time, he finally threw _Great Expectations_ into an open box. Edward had bought that book, he had to have, Alfons certainly hadn't. Or maybe it was Gracia, since neither rocket scientist found much interest in fiction… Well, whoever's it was, it wasn't keeping his attentions away from his thoughts of Edward.

Edward, who had been what he'd needed to get off. He was sick just thinking about it. And when the front door opened, he was still thinking about the golden man now walking into the apartment.

"…and you haven't even heard a word I just said, have you?"

Alfons was startled as Edward waved a gloved hand in his face. "Ah, Edward, I didn't hear you come in."

"I noticed." A roll of the eyes, a gentle smile that didn't quite manage to reach his eyes… a weird thing Alfons had noticed in his friends, the fact that his smiles never reflected in his eyes. The golden orbs were almost sad, gorgeous, glittering portals into Edward's inner workings that Alfons couldn't seem to break through to. He tried, sometimes, to really understand why, when Edward laughed, his eyes were distant; why, when he smiled, his eyes were sad, and why, when Alfons was near him, those gold eyes never left him and looked even more remorseful.

"…lost you again," Edward said, snapping his fingers in front of Alfons' face.

"Sorry," Alfons said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I was thinking."

"Don't do it too often, might hurt yourself," Edward teased. "Anyway, Gracia invited us to dinner on Friday. You think you'll be able to spare a few hours from your obviously busy work schedule?" Slim gold eyebrow raised gracefully, hands folded delicately under his chin as he sat down across from him. Alfons swallowed.

"Yeah, I'm sure I'll be free." He smiled, getting up from his seat. "Until then, I guess we'll have to suffer through another one of _your_ home cooked meals."

"Hey, I cook a hell of a lot better than you," Edward said. He stuck his tongue out childishly. Another trait of Ed's, the ability to act rather mature for a few minutes and then resolve into ranting or acting like a child. "Damn should be, I spent four years with only me to feed…"

It was muttered, and obviously not meant for Alfons, but he heard the statement anyway. Edward's past was shrouded in a mist of mystery so thick, Alfons was surprised Edward could get through it. There were times when Edward seemed to lose himself in thought and muttered something that revealed just the tiniest bit, lifted the thinnest of layers from the mystery that was Edward. From these times, Alfons had learned that Edward had a little brother he had wronged, a little brother that looked alarmingly similar to Alfons. Edward hated his father, but that was easy enough to tell when the blond began ranting whenever the man's name was mentioned. Edward had been in the military, or somehow involved in it, Alfons was still too skeptical to believe that. And Edward, beautiful, distant, golden Edward, was burdened with the weight of a world Alfons didn't know, a loss he couldn't understand, and the distance in Edward's eyes was just further encouragement for Alfons to pry deeper into the fog.

.:.

"You just spoke with Gracia when you came home!"

"It didn't come up in the conversation. I completely forgot about it until just now."

"The rain has got to stop soon."

"Yeah, but until then, I need sleep."

Alfons sighed as he was pushed to the other side of his nearly-too-small-for-one-person-anyway bed. He kept a firm grip on his share of the blankets as Edward settled in next to him.

"You've gotta tell her about the leak tomorrow," Alfons said, frowning at Edward as the blond turned on his side, back to him. "You kick at night and it keeps me up." Well, that and… other things…

"Sorry," Edward muttered. A roll of thunder shook the building faintly. Edward squirmed deeper into the mattress as the rain began to pound harshly against the window. "Night, 'fons."

"You too," Alfons yawned. He shifted as comfortably as possible in the cramped bed and soon fell asleep to the sound of the thunderstorm.

.:.

For the second time in two nights, Alfons' sleep was interrupted by Edward. A sharp kick in the thigh snapped him back to consciousness and made him skooch away from the jerking prosthetics.

"No, 'm sorry," Edward muttered restlessly, head whipping from side to side. His loose hair was wild in his face, the features hidden beneath twisted in pain. He continued thrashing about, mumbling unintelligibly through the confines of what was obviously a nightmare.

"Edward?" Alfons leaned over the still sleeping blond. "Ed, wake up." He gently shook Edward's shoulder, trying to ignore how good it felt to feel the warmth of the smooth skin under his fingers.

"Don't, please, Al." Edward tossed and turned as Alfons tried to wake him.

"Edward, it's just a dream," Alfons said softly. "Wake up."

"No." Were those tears at the corners of Edward's eyes? "'s not."

"Ed!" Alfons shook him harder. Edward's eyes snapped open, flicking around in confusion.

"Al?" Edward asked, his voice shaking as he caught sight of Alfons over him. "No, dammit. Sorry." He rolled over, rubbing his eyes and trying to shrink into the mattress. Something inside Alfons' chest clenched painfully at the sound of Edward's disappointed voice. _Can't I be enough for you?_ He wanted to ask. _Can't you just accept the fact that you're stuck here and you're not getting back? I'm here for you, Edward, please don't push me away. _He held in his thoughts; they were cruel, a slap to the face if he were to say them out loud. And he knew it wasn't Edward's fault there was such an awkward… _space_ in between them.

"Ed-"

"I'm fine, Alfons," Edward said. "Just a bad dream. Sorry I woke you up."

Alfons frowned at the back of Edward's head but knew that talking to the wall behind him would get more results than talking to Edward at the moment. He settled back onto the bed, still watching Edward.

The sky outside lit up as a glittering bolt of lightning forked through the dark clouds. A loud cracked of the following thunder shook the building. Alfons was startled, not by the peal of thunder that followed a second flash of lightning, but by Edward's reaction to it. Edward, who acted as if he wasn't afraid of anything, _whimpered_ and huddled deeper into the blankets. He was… he couldn't be… not of… Alfons had seen Edward stand up to drunkards twice his height and width without even flinching, seen him take down more than one opponent in a brawl, and watched him get dangerously close to moving cars and rocket engines. How could _thunder_ be his weakness?

Edward squirmed closer to Alfons at the sound of another crack of thunder.

"Ed, are you ok?" Boldly, Alfons put his hand back on Edward's shoulder. The older blond tensed at the touch but didn't shake it off.

"'m fine," Ed muttered. "Just don't like thunder."

Alfons' mouth twitched; as if that wasn't blindingly obvious. "It'll pass."

"I know. Still don't like it." Edward didn't like milk either but the "white liquid secreted from a smelly animal", as Edward put it, didn't reduce him to cowering under the blankets. This was a close as he was to admitting it… scared him.

Sleep deprivation was messing with Alfons' mind. His hand moved to the golden hair tied back loosely back on its own, Alfons having made no conscious decision to do so. His fingers began to gently stroke through the soft, silky strands, invading a shady personal line he had forced himself to draw up between himself and Edward when it came to physical contact.

"What was your dream about?" he asked softly.

"Don't wanna talk about it." Edward pushed Alfons' hand out of his hair. "Tickles."

Alfons' drew his hand back as Edward huddled into the blankets.

.:.

Three days of rain was beginning to make Alfons rather depressed. It was difficult to test rockets when the equipment was dry, much less soaked almost as thoroughly as the engineers. While the new facility had a large enough space to work in comfortably, Alfons wanted to test the propulsion without frying half the crew and all the other projects. Work was delayed quite a bit. It wasn't the best first impression one could manage at a new job. But Professor Haushoffer didn't seem to mind too much. His new employer was as obviously ignorant of rocketry as Edward was of carrying on a conversation without diverging into chemistry and other science an average person cared little about.

It made life easier for Alfons but his own pride and conscious felt bad about pulling the wool over his employer's eyes. Dorochette had no qualms about it but then again, he wasn't the most proper of sorts to get an opinion from.

And while Alfons mulled these thoughts over in a half asleep daze, he barely paid attention to Edward as the older blond slipped into his bed. There was a leak in the room where they ate lunch at the warehouse, remedied easily by an empty bucket. Maybe they could just move Edward's bed to another side of the room and keep a bucket ready for more rainy nights. He exhaled through his nose with a soft _hmm_ as he mulled over ways of fixing the leak. These musings slowly morphed into ways of making the leak permanent so Edward would crawl into his bed every night to make it warm and comfortable and tonight didn't seem like much of a thunder storm anyway…

He woke with bruises from hard metal-and-plastic limbs anyway.


End file.
